A lot can happen in 4 months

Its been exactly (well, one day under) 4 months since my last post.
A lot can happen in 4 months.

I have been to Rarotonga for a trip with one of my most favourite friends.
I have been promoted and started a new job.
I have bought tickets to New York to see another most favourite friend who recently moved there.
I have been diagnosed with depression, and am on the way to getting better.
I have managed to mend a broken heart.
I am taking a break from underwater hockey.
I have started playing touch for a work team.
I have bought a laptop, and a new phone.
I have put on some weight that I am not very impressed about (how did that get there!)
I have very recently looked into alkalising the diet, and the benefits of doing so, and am making a few changes to see if that helps me feel better!
I have come to terms with a lot of things.
I have learnt a lot of lessons about life, love, everything.
I have become older, and perhaps a little bit wiser (one would hope).
I have been to weddings and celebrated births.
I have eaten delicious foods.
I have done next to NOTHING on anything to do with my jewellery.
I am currently nursing a hang over.

Its funny how on days like today, after a good night out, a few too many wines, some flirting, lots of dancing, sweet treats, a hot shower that was longer than it should have been and a big, delicious breakfast, that you tend to get a bit reflective about things. Sitting here in a mix of trackpants and pyjamas, feeling a bit seedy, with no plans to get me out of bed and a pile of clothes on the floor that need to be dealt with. Its easier to just sit here and think about stuff, than actually get up and DO things.

I have been avoiding posting anything on here for the past four months too.
I guess its taken me this long to go through the whole process of going from being constantly unhappy, tired, withdrawing myself, having no energy, doctors appointments, prescriptions, answers and solutions; to finally getting some results, and also coming to terms with it all, having had enough time to sort my head out. And now I am ready to talk about it to people outside my closer circle of friends/parents. I suppose posting something about it on here (even though I have no idea of how many people or who will even read this) is the first time I have talked about it in a way that I have no control over how the content is delivered (apart from the obvious matter of it being a post on a blog).

I have learnt to stop taking things so seriously, to not expect so much of myself ALL the time, to take things slowly, and to enjoy the small things; to listen to what I WANT to do, and to be confident in that, instead of taking on everyones opinions and instruction and never knowing what to do, when often all the ideas and opinions are quite conflicting .
This relates to my jewellery a lot, as well as life in general. I've never been able to clearly articulate what it is I want to do exactly in terms of my jewellery. Perhaps that is because I am not entirely sure of that myself, and I am happy for that to be something that evolves, changes, is quite fluid and can constantly be surprising and exciting in the way it moves and adapts with my life. I think a lot of other people I have come acorss have a harder time trying to come to terms with something tha is not completely solidified.

One significant issue I know I need to address, and as quickly as possible, is my workspace. The workspace I currently have is very frustrating, and I need to do something about it; instead of just 'trying' to make it work. Easier said than done of course. It is not that I am ungrateful to my parents for letting me set up and take over multiples areas of our house, its just that the areas do not help encourage or enable creativity. The spaces are broken and separated from each other, and there is minimal distraction control possible. It is hard to sit down and feel inspired when the space is shared with others who are using it as a leisure space (I have a small section of the lounge which has my desk and bookcase in it, then my work bench is downstairs in the garage), or is full of other bits and pieces, which makes it hard to access (i.e. bikes, tents, swiss balls, sewing machines....).

I believe that when I get myself a new space which I can close off, and allow me to completely become absorbed in what I am doing, that I will be able to start focusing, experimenting, making, creating, pushing boundaries and producing pieces of work that I have enjoyed making. Right now, the spaces frustrate me and I find the whole ordeal of sitting down to make something quite irritating. Which is not how I want it to be.

I did wonder for quite a while, in some of the darker days, whether I even wanted to make jewellery anymore. Why did I spend 4 years of my life and $40,000 learning how to be really good at soemthing that will turn out to be not much more than a hobby, as opposed to full-time income-earning work?

The reason never changes, it just takes me longer to remember it sometimes.

I love expressing myself and my ideas in this form. There is just something so mesmerising about the challenge of getting a range of materials to work for you in such a small scale. Then seeing other people engaging with these objects, and enjoying the experience of being drawn in closer, revealing the detail and beauty of the pieces of work.

I will never stop enjoying that, or the excitement of creating something totally unexpected and intruiging.

And so, here I am. With a new life plan. Finding myself from time to time thinking about jewellery, and getting excited about it, rather than being absolutely unenthused about it all the time.
Its nice to be on the uphill climb again, instead of sitting in a valley of despair, not enjoying anything at all.

So bring on summer, and the new year (cannot believe it is NOVEMBER!), new adventures, new creations, and happier times :)

You are not old

of this I am certain: you're never going to be as YOUNG as you are today. so stop whinging about how OLD you are. you're only old because you say you are, so stop worrying about it and get on with being the youngest you'll ever be, ever again.


I cannot describe how FRUSTRATED I am at the moment. I am continually hearing people going on about how 'old' they are...Oh Im turning 23...its so OLD...groan.
I want to SLAP all these people and tell them to shut the hell up and get on with enjoying being the youngest they'll EVER be...instead of worrying about how old they are. One day, they'll stop worrying, and then they really WILL be old. And their youth will have been wasted worrying about the inevitable!
There are times when I feel like I am not as young as I once was....but this does not mean I feel OLD!


And whenever I tell anyone this, I get the feeling they just brush it off, ignore it, think I'm just talking smack. But I feel very very strongly about it!


I AM SO SICK OF BEING TOLD I AM OLD, OR PEOPLE EXCLAIMING HOW OLD THEY ARE, WHEN THEY ARE THE SAME AGE AS ME.


I AM NOT OLD.


MY YOUTH IS NOT OVER.


I am still able to have fun.
I can still go out and drink if I feel so inclined.
I can still make dumb mistakes.


The thing is...I just don't always want to.
I don't MIND doing things slowly sometimes. Going for a walk in the sun somewhere interesting with friends instead of just being drunk with them. Going out for a nice dinner and some wines, instead of a boozy BYO.


I think you just get to appreciate things a bit more, you're not rushing to try it all anymore. You know what you like and you know what you don't, so you can pick and choose to take part in the good things in life.


Some people choose to keep partying every weekend, late nights, big gigs.
Some people choose to get married, have kids, at a younger age than others.
Some people choose to go travelling, the big OE, overseas adventures with new places and new faces.
Some people choose to go into a job and work their way up, gaining experience, skills, titles.
Some people just float along, letting life take them where the opportunities lead.
There is no right or wrong, there is no better option or better path. Everyone goes on their own 'growing up journey' and I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason!
And the thing is, too, that you can always change, and you can do different things. You can have a job and go out partying and go travelling, you just have to make it all work for you.
If you're not enjoying you're life or where you are at, maybe thats the issue, and not your age.


I think the saddest part of 'getting older' or growing up, and the hardest part to come to terms with, is losing touch with people. Because we all start to go in slightly different directions, those that you used to have so much fun with and keep in touch with regualrly, start to fade.
It just seems to be part of the process, and part of the bigger picture. Those who are really important to you will stay with you, effortlessly...and those are the people that matter.


The best friendships are the ones you don't have to fight for, that just tick along, and you're always in each others lives, and its not an effort. It's just what you do.


For now, just enjoy living for today, make some smart plans so you don't screw up your future, and just get on with whatever it is you're doing! Have fun! Be silly! We are YOUNG ADULTS, for heavens sake, not reitred pensioners!!! (and even then....you're still as young as you feel!)

Lopdell House Pins 2012

"My intention has always been to create pieces that encourage people to take the time out of their busy day-to-day lives. To appreciate life’s simplicities and the world around them, to stop, take a second look and admire something.

The realisation that I myself was not doing what my work encouraged others to do, was one that broke me out of a pretty big rough patch.

Inspired by found objects from interactions with my environment, this body of works represents a reminder to slow down, go for a walk, and take a deep breath."

So so so happy with these pins. Probably my favourite (completed) body of work since leaving uni. At times I wish I had a bit more time to dedicate to my jewellery, a full day that WASN'T one my weekend days. But that will come eventually, and Im happy with what I am able to do when I fully focus and am excited about being at my bench. At the moment, it's funds that are inhibiting me more than the time factor! So once I get somethign back from these guys, I will be able to purchase some more materials for some new ideas :) Very exciting! With other things in the pipeline, such as a holiday to Rarotonga, saving for a new car, life in general, there isn't much extra in the bank! But thats not an issue that only I am experiencing, so time to get up and move on, start thinknig 'what next?' so that when I have the funds, I can get making asap!!! Thanks to everyone who has been out to see this display :)

Oh a plan!

(an appropriate pin!)

Sat down this weekend and decided to make a plan. It currently spans 8 years and includes a new car, potential to buy a property (one with space for a studio!!!!!!), and three to four overseas trips :)
Feels so good to have an idea of what I'm aiming for, and knowing that I can fit what I want to do into the near future is so exciting!
I think I have felt restless because I want to do everything right now, and for obvious reasons, I can't. It gets frustrating seeing friends going off and doing things you want to do, and no, its not just ONE friend doing everything; its a friend going travelling, another buying a new car, another going on a lovely date with their lovely partner, another getting a payrise or promotion, another studying overseas. Naturally I get bad FOMO and a bit jealous (Im starting to think it's okay to admit you are jealous. Jealousy can come across in so many other negative forms, as anger, as bitterness, as resentment, but when it's out there as JEALOUSY...its understandable. And jealousy, when kept in check, isn't a bad emotion. It's not really all that negative. It's acknowledging a success of someone else that you yourself wish you could attain. So really...it's not that bad at all! I suppose it's how one deals with that jealousy...do you praise the person for their success? And express your desire to achieve something similar? Or do you berate them for it? And make them feel bad for having achieved something, when you haven't? Hopefully, its the former!! I'm making a concious effort to keep my jealousy in check, and to be happy for others who are experiencing successes in areas that I also wish to achieve success in. Hard work does pay off, in so many ways, and nothing in this world is ever really for 'free')...so where were we....yes, I have been feeling jealous. I have lots of things I want to do and achieve, but feel like I do not have the means to get there....when of COURSE I do. I just can't have it all right now, duh. So I needed a plan...and now I know what I am aiming for :) and I can look forward to things; I can save and have a particular number in my head and goals that I am trying to reach. It feels SO GOOD, and it is ALL achieveable. And when I do go travelling, or get my new car, or buy a new phone, or become financially stable, I will be able to celebrate, and will enjoy it all the more. Because I will have worked for it, earnt it, and deserve it.
Also, when people ask me to do things which will sap up my money and in turn sap up the means I have to achieve these things, I can say....no, because I'm saving for all these SUPER AWESOME AMAZING things, so lets do something else so that I can save AND hang out and live a fun life :D

Fantastic.

The plan WILL change. I'm totally okay with that and totally prepared for it :)
But it will only change and become BETTER! :)

So if anyone out there is feeling a bit lost, or jealous of what your friends are achieveing and you feel like you're just sitting in a rutt.....make a plan. You will soon come to find that you too can have your cake and eat it too....it just takes some forethought, some planning, some prioritising, some creative thinking, some budgeting, some determination and some dreaming :)

Plan...here I come!!!

Moment of Clarity

I love extreme weather. At the moment its POURING down and its so dark, yet its only 6.30pm.
It took me almost an hour to get home tonight (a journey that would take me around 15 mins on a good day!) but this was alright, I had nowhere to rush to, I had a good CD on in the car, and I ended up going a bit of a different route home to avoid the worst of the motorway traffic, so had some new scenery to look at.
Extreme weather seems to shrink all your problems down, seems to put things into perspective. Well, it does for me anyway. And of course, on this evening, my mind experienced a sudden moment of clarity that I found very uplifting. I pulled out my notebook I have been carrying around, rustled for a pen and managed to write the following down while waiting at the various red lights and streams of stationary traffic:

When you hear of successful people, they don't talk about how many people they've dated, or slept with, what latest phone they had or how many parties they went to. You hear about their travel, their stories of overcoming the odds, of them following their dreams and their hearts. These are the days we are living RIGHT NOW. What we do now determines who we are in the future, how successful we will be, and how much respect we will have from those around us who actually matter.
So LIVE these moments for YOU. Create your stories, overcome the odds set against you, follow your dreams,  and follow your heart. BECOME the person you WANT to be. Someone others will look up to and admire. Love and all the rest will fall into place when the time is right. The only thing you have control over right now is your happiness and the ability to make choices out of the situations life presents you with. Invest in these with integrity, honesty, and passion, and in doing so, ensure yourself a bright, successful, happy future.

You are who you chose to be.

:)

Best ride home in heavy rain and heavy traffic everrrrr.

Weight off my Shoulders

Pieces have been in the cabinet for 9 days now!!!!
I cannot tell you how much lighter I have felt the past 9 days, and especially these last two weekends!

I have done heaps of THINGS. Just things.
Reading books, browsing the web, tidying my room, buying new fish, thinking, reassessing, going for walks, going to yoga, watching dvds, cooking dinners, some jewellery thinking and making here and there, swimming....things I WANT to do WHEN I want to do them. It's amazing.

I am forcing myself to take some time to slow down. I'm not very good at it. At all.
I find myself having a few more than 5 minutes doing 'nothing' and I'm bored, and need something to do.
Last weekend I finished my most recent Jodi Picoult book, upsetting as I now have no new books to read (and my library fine has got me scared so I won't return to the library for some time yet). What to do! I'll have to re-read something, or borrow off someone, or go and buy something new. But reading is definitely one of my favourite 'nothings' to do. So I need to get on to more of that!

Now I have space in my head for thinking (unusual, I usually make myself so busy I don't HAVE time to think, so it's a bit strange having this 'luxury') I'm putting some of that 'space' towards my jewellery, and where I want to go and how I want to get there.

There are SO MANY OPTIONS and paths to go down.

It's hard.....

dilemma # 1

how do I maintain my 'hand-made, one-off' approach', in a way that will generate me some sort of income, without reverting to looking too 'crafty'? I don't want to sit in the same market as middle-aged mothers who knit baby clothes and sew dish cloths. which leads me on to:

dilemma # 2

what is my target market? how do I reach them? who will buy my work? where will they buy my work?
which in turn leads on to:

dilemma # 3

WHAT IS MY WORK?

perhaps I should start at #3 and work backwards?
I don't know. I feel like I should define my style or have some sort of 'look' or something....but I don't know what that is. At the business course I did the other month, the tutor said "your brand should represent the essence of YOU".....and perhaps, I'm struggling with this because.....I'm a bit unsure of what the 'essence of ME' really is right now. I used to know. But things seem to be changing without me being aware of it, until, it's all changed and I suddenly go...hang on a moment....thats not how I usually react/act/behave/think.

This BURNOUT jazz is lame. One day at a time. It will take me more than a few weeks and two chats with someone to get me back on my feet and running again, and there will be bad days and bad moments in amongst it all.

It's nights like tonight where I'm home alone, and I don't mind that, but I'd like some company, but then I don't really want to go out anywhere, I don't have any money to go out, its cold outside and I HATE the cold...and I think....who wants to sit with me in my trackpants and watch dvds and eat and mooch??...and I don't know. I'm not exactly 'fun' company at the moment. So then I sit at home by myself and feel lonely...all of my own doing.

Gah!

Just have to cherish the good moments, and learn from/get through the bad ones.
I do have good days where I think things are looking up, and those moments I need to remember and try to find again and again!!

The bad will pass and the good will become the norm, and it will happen.....if we don't have faith or hope that it WILL happen....then what DO we have?????

Set up time!

Putting the pieces into the cabinet tomorrow midday.

1. I hope it looks as good as I am imagining it will.
2. I hope the display idea works, and the work doesn't look lost in the cabinet.
3. I hope other people will like it.
4. I hope it sells.
5. I hope I haven't forgotten anything.

Nervous sleeps tonight, but a relaxing evening tomorrow, can not WAIT!

The moment I walk away from the cabinet will be a very, very glorious moment!!!!  :)

Trying to find the words

How do you word something you don't fully understand yourself?

This is what I have so far:

"My intention has always been to create pieces that encourage people to take the time out of their busy day-to-day lives. To appreciate life’s simplicities and the world around them, to stop, take a second look and admire something.

The realisation that I myself was not doing what my work encouraged others to do, was one that broke me out of a pretty big rough patch.

Inspired by found objects from interactions with my environment, this body of works represents a reminder to slow down, go for a walk, and take a deep breath."

I think it's alright, but I'll sleep on it. Suss it out tomorrow morning when I have a fresh mind! 

Lopdell House

A few pins for my upcoming exhibition at Lopdell House

Up to about 20 now.....goes into the cabinet on Thursday, and still got a lot to get done! 

But things are moving on, and I feel like I am coming closer to the finish line,

instead of just fighting my way through task after task and getting no where! 

Bring on Thursday, and an exhibition that is complete and looks fabulous! 

Burnout

1

a : exhaustion of physical and/or emotional strength usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustrationb : a person affected with burnout

Uncertainties

I have been feeling that maybe I want to pursue some other type of 'career' role, and focus on that for the next few years (mid term). I am finding the jewellery stressful because I find myself not coping when that is all that is on my mind. And a full-time job that is not very challenging anymore.

The jewellery is a challenge, but its a different sort of challenge to the type of challenge I am currently seeking. I enjoy making jewellery for sure, and I want to keep doing it, I don't want to stop. I want to make stuff to sell online, to friends and family and things, and perhaps still for some exhibitions and awards. But I have found the deadline and pressure of a whole exhibition very, very stressful. It's a small cabinet even, not overly large, nothing like a whole solo show at a whole gallery. So maybe people will read this and think, oh come on, its not even that big. And you have had a LONG time to prepare for this. Which is true.

But for those of you who are not creatives, you won't understand.
There is not one continuous flow of creative thoughts and creatively geared action. It comes in fits and bursts. And when things around you and in your life aren't so peachy, its really difficult to get yourself to focus. I think the hardest part at the moment is not having a specific space to go to where I am solely creative. Where I enter and all I think about and all I am surrounded by are things that encourage me to make, create, be creative.
It's why people struggle to work out successfully in their lounge, despite the number of 'home video workouts' out there; why people find it hard to study in their bedroom. If you are in an environment that is not conducive to what you are trying to achieve, its very difficult to make yourself.

Some will say its a lack of self discipline, distraction control. And to a degree, they are right. But no amount of self discipline and distraction control is going to inspire a creative flow.

I think I want to look into another career option, that is flexible and challenging. Which will give me time to make jewellery when I need to. Which will hopefully be more often, if I am feeling challenged in my daily life. Being challenged elsewhere helps me to push myself in my jewellery practice. Yet my current job, I find myself getting frustrated at the boredom. and going home frustrated and tired, is not helpful. Whereas feeling like I have accomplished something during the day, and helped some people, will leave me feeling good, motivated, in control. And this will flow over into the jewellery.

I am thinking, that after this exhibition, I will not agree to any more for the next wee while. I will enter competitions, and make to sell from my website. But I will just sit back, work my job, earn some money, play UWH, look to travel, and to what else I can do as a second career option.

My current job is not what I need in the long run, it is an 'in the meantime' job. And I think the time is coming near that I need to start looking for other, newer, more exciting challenges.

I have so much I want to do, but I feel like this job isn't really taking me anywhere. So I need to look at how I can make it work for me in the short term....I can earn money through the job, I can gather contacts, I can relax and enjoy being young. It gives me a degree of financial security and I feel, control, that I haven't experienced before and I really enjoy that aspect of it. So I wil stay there for a bit longer, but I will also start looking at what else I can do.

I think once I find something else to challenge myself, to earn money, and that I enjoy, then the jewellery will flow. :)

Here's hoping!!! :P

R & R

I decided that this weekend, since I was so busy with everything else, that I would not think about jewellery AT ALL!
And it has been bliss. I have had an amazing stress-free weekend. I have enjoyed the company of extended family members and good friends, downloaded some new music....slept in, relaxed.
One of the things that was stressing me out, my tournament, went REALLY well. One thing to tick off my list. I loved being on tournament again. I haven't been to a tournament, as a player, in over 18 months. Which is a LONG time, considering this is my 9th year playing, so for the past 8 years or so, I have played at least one tournament.
I didn't realise how much I actually missed it.

With tournament, you know what to expect. You have to keep yourself in optimal condition. Your only concern is for yourself, your physical and metal conditioning, and then that of your team mates.
It is something I am familiar and comfortable with.
I found it quite hard to get my head into tournament mode and settle my head down from the stress I've been feeling lately. Which is why I decided to not think about the jewellery at all. It wouldn't have helped at all.

It just feels so natural, to be at a tournament and pushing yourself physically. It's hard to put into words what I mean, but for those who have been in a situation where all your focus is very physical and also emotional, but emotional in relation to your physical performace, you will understand. You feel like you are in total control of all the variables. The only thing that matters is the next game. Up until then everything is geared towards making sure you are in optimal condition to perform at your best. And after that, it's looking forward to the next game. It's easy, its defined, you know what to expect. Of course, the games are hard, the mental side of it is not easy, but it all comes down to YOU, and the team, and I love that.

I think this has been missing from my life for too long. I don't think I need to be playing at an international level every year, but having that physical release and engagement, and such a big, intense and condensed dose of adrenaline.....seems to break up the stress and help to clear and focus the mind.

People are always telling me I can't do both art and sport, or if they don't say it directly, they say it in their actions, the way they react to one or the other. But I feel, for me, I need both in my life. I need that balance of pure physical activity, and then the creative, more mind-thought-oriented activity.
The past 18 months has shown that I struggle with a lack of intense physical interactions...ie tournaments, events....and too much of the opposite.

I do think, that if the balance was the other way round though, that I'd be able to survive, and the effect on my emotional and mental stability would not be as detrimental.

I find the act of physically pushing myself really rewarding. Having to 'look inside' and really find a strength from within to push myself forward. It's something I've always struggled to harness in my jewellery career, throughout uni and since I have been out.

I don't know if this is a pivotal realisation, or one that I need to address seriously right now. But I have been having some thoughts recently. Perhaps I'll have them in a separate post........

STRESS

I am stressed out. Instead of hiding it and trying to pretend I'm not, I'm telling people. And it feels way better when someone asks....how are you? ...and you reply...you know what? I'm really stressed out right now.....feels like youre not covering yourself with this invisible cloak of lies anymore. I'm stressed out. BUT...I can do it. That's what I need to focus on, not the fact that I'm stressed out.
It's getting bad though. I don't think, and can't remember, ever being this bad before. I feel sick most days, I'm losing my appetite, I'm getting headaches every week. I feel like I'm going to choke and feel really shaky when it's at it's worst. It's not much fun. And it feels like everything is like this....my thoughts are negative about almost everything, and I can't seem to shake them or change them. And if I manage to, they sink back into a negative frame quite quickly. Just today I've gone from happy, to stressed, to happy, back to stressed.
It's making it really hard to make. i go and sit at my bench and I feel paralysed. I worry that I won't have enough work to fill the cabinet. I worry that people will see it and be disappointed. I worry that people will see it and think i didn't put enough effort into it. I worry that people who are deeply embedded in the Contemporary Jewellery world will think its not 'conceptual' enough. Something I have always battled with!! I'm not big on big concepts. I like making pretty jewellery, that people will like to wear, and that has some ideas behind it...but it doesn't push any boundaries, it doesn't offend, it doesn't question...it encourages. It encourages people to stop and look at something beautiful for a while. Because I think people don't do that enough. Well, really, I think that I don't do that enough. And perhaps that's why I make jewellery like this. Or why I do anything? It's something I need to figure out...why do I make jewellery? Why is that the medium I choose to express myself in? What other ways do I express myself? How can these be combined with the jewellery?

But for now.....I need to think calm thoughts. Take some time out to relax, to clear my mind. So that I can make and enjoy it. And get this exhibition done.

See you in about three weeks!!!

Bring on April 19th when I can have my life back!!!!!

Ah...I see the light!

After a frustrating weekend of trying to make and then making things that I just didn't like and thatjust didn't feel right...I threw my tools down, went for a sunbathe with my best friend, had a back massage, and a delicious milkshake....and then I realised....I'm not having any successes right now because I'm not following through with what my jewellery intends to do.....I intend my jewellery to encourage people to take the time out of their daily lives to appreciate life in its simplest forms, and to appreciate the world around them. to peel themselves away from their screens and extract themselves from their busy day-to-day lives to take a second look at something, to stop and appreciate the day, the sunset, the view, the flowers, the sun on their face...but I wasn't even doing that MYSELF.
So how was I to be encouraged to work if I wasn't even engaging in the things I find most inspiring?
I've thought before that perhaps my making and my ideas are a way to remedy every-day life and it's pitfalls for myself.....and it's now clear to me that this is entirely true.

I need to keep making pretty little things that encourage people to stop, look, admire.
That draw people in to have a closer look.

Because thats what I enjoy making the most.

And if I'm enoying it, and I like the outcome, then that's the first hurdle crossed, and there are bound to be others out there who also appreciate it too :)


6 weeks til exhibition. I have a LOT to get done!!!!!!!!

Frustrated

I have been seriously procrastinating from doing any making. I have now started and it feels great, but I wake up on days like today (one of the only two I have off a week, like almost everyone) and I have to go and sit downstairs instead of going to the beach. And my friends are all going to the beach, or hanging out, or asking me to do things. So I mope around and feel sorry for myself, and then suddenly its 5pm.
I recently had someone challenge me and say, well, maybe you don't REALLY want to do jewellery then?
And I thought, gosh, I hope that's not true, and I'm just the last one to find out.
But I think, it's that i don't want to do jewellery in my TIME OFF. On the two days where I don't HAVE to be at work, where I don't HAVE to go anywhere or do anything...except for my jewellery.
I know this is an issue a LOT of people face, doing what they enjoy in their spare time, and trying to make it work, but I don't think that that point negates the fact that it is EXTREMELY frustrating at times like this.
People will say...but you're doing what you love so it should be just like you spending your time doing something you enjoy?
Yes, but I also enjoy having time to see my friends, to read a book, to go for a day trip to the beach, to sleep in til midday and have breakfast in bed, to go out for coffee or lunch, to go for a walk in a new location.
So then I think...okay, I need to figure out how to make this jewellery thing work....how will I generate some income, while still hand making my stuff, without having to make 100 of the same thing....and I'm back to square one because I don;t really know.

Or I DO know.....but there are just SO many options out there, since there is no one direct path for this....its not...study, graduate, enter at bottom level position, work way to the top...ta da...successful career....there are so many options and so many paths I could take....so do I just start somewhere and see what happens? make some mistakes along the way and learn from them? I guess I do...but there are so many things I want to do, and I don't know where to start....and this 'I don't know' feeling is very overwhelming, and leaves little room for much else, let alone positive enthusiasm and motivation.

I do a Business of Arts course in a week, and I am hoping that this will give me some sort of ideas, clarify some things for me, extend my knowledge. Fingers crossed!!!!!

Adios for now....off for a 20km bike followed by a short run, then breakfast then down to my bench!!!!!

DIY Seal

Been thinking about packaging and things, doing ab it of internet based research.
Came across this:

http://urbantaster.com/2010/03/29/diy-wooden-dowel-wax-seal/

Very cool!!! And totally something I could do and change/adapt very easily!
I quite like the wax stamp look, not sure where to use it though ... on tags, or packaging, or anything.
Just an idea that I quite like :)

new new new

I have been gathering these bits and pieces, mostly from around my office. It's quite strange really. I don't know what has compelled me to pick them up, but they just seem to always catch my eye.
I had a 2am brainwave the other night.....why am I suddenly spotting these manufactured, circular, discarded objects on the ground and in gutters? It's a complete opposite to the pieces I have been picking up on my walks in the past, and this has been totally random. I haven't been in a location and decided to gather some objects. I have just been walking around, and things jump into my line of vision. I can't help myself picking them up. I try to do so discretely, but I am slowly accepting my jewellery-nerdiness, and all that comes with it. Anyway, onto the 2am brainwave, it was more like a train of thought that came to an interesting point...I am obviously in a new environment, so new objects are around me. And I guess I respond to that by picking certain ones up. I had been noticing all these little circular things when I was walking to and from my car. ALL THE TIME. One day I decided to start picking them up. Of course that day I didn't come across any. But since then I've been slowly gathering up a nice wee collection. So this year I have decided will be spent exploring these two opposites. The natural, organic pieces, and the mass produced, hard, man made pieces; and the sort of processes that relate to each of these. Hand making pieces, casting pieces, using plastics, using soft materials, using things that deteriorate?, mixing hand made and cast pieces.......
the list is endless. There are heaps of questions and ideas surrounding this that I need to discover and incorporate. So lots to do :)
One thing I know I have to do.....get DRAWING and MAKING!!!!!

A-into-G time.

It's already February and I have very little to show...not for long though. I feel like I am on the brink of a making frenzy....bring it on! I need some good enthusiastic, really engrossing creative moments!

Looking Ahead?

http://www.alchimia.it/index.htm
Been looking at the above jewellery school in Florence, Italy.
They do a short course, between 2 weeks and 3 months long....on FOUND OBJECTS.
Amazing. Would be so cool.
I had a look though their galleries, and far out, it's so daunting. Looking at what these guys achieve and make in their FIRST year is incredible. But I have to remember, that my degree was only specialised for two years, and the courses these guys are doing are at a whole school DEDICATED to teaching jewellery!!! It must be so amazing. Being completely surrounded by jewellery, and ideas, and makers, and tools, and materials, and books, and everything!!!! All just jewellery.

Would be incredible. 2013 perhaps? Who knows....might look at getting in touch with them about it, and finding out some more information on the course :)

Would be an amazing place to start my travels! Then see the world, gathering inspiration and new experiences....itchy feet much? Never had them before! Never really thought much about travelling, but think I need to while I'm young, and have nothing holding me back here!!

2013 is also UWH world championships in South Africa....so could compete at the tournament, travel up through Africa to Italy, then do the rest of Europe after the course.

All I can hear is *ca-ching* right now....because that is one EXPENSIVE but AMAZING adventure/dream!

Looking back to the Master

Just refreshing my love for Hermann Junger and his amazing jewellery.
WANT his 'Found Treasures' book but it's nearly IMpossible to find, and will cost around $250NZD!!! WITHOUT postage, and not even a new copy!
But i want it sooooo baaaaddddd!!!!!!
So tempting.

Started researching this week and going to get into some drawing soon.
Feels good to be back on the 'motivated band-wagon'. Lets hope it lasts aye!!!

Lopdell House April 2012.....got a LOT to do for it...but it will be good.
Very good. And I'm excited :)

2012

So it's a new year, had a pretty miserable 'summer', as have most people on the North Island this year!
Been feeling seriously unmotivated to do anything jewellery-wise, which was NOT my plan! But hey, no point stressing about it. Got some ideas for this year, need to set myself up a good routine, but one that I will ACTUALLY stick to, that includes research, drawing, making, blogging...the lot really. Need to be a bit more active.

Had a 2am brainwave last night...of course, as always! Have a new idea to explore this year, think it will be quite fruitful and fun, and I get to play around with plastics and mold/cast making again...which I really enjoy!
So planning on getting into that soon.

Exhibition at Lopdell House in April, will be exciting. Need to start making for it though, always leaving it to last minute...only have 12 weeks, so need to start making. I have an idea in my head, which i always tend to do, but need to actually get making it. My usual dilemma.

Also would like to get my work into a shop...but need to actually MAKE some stuff to have in the shop, so think I will hold a market stall first...see what sells, then re-think....though.....what the market audience, and the audience of the shop I have in mind (a secret for now) are quite different...so testing it out at the market may not provide me with very accurate findings!!!!

So yeah....looking like a productive and busy 2012 jewellery-wise...and quite a stable year everywhere else...which will be amazing after two quite full-on, turbulent years...glad to be on the other side of those years!